I've always known that I've had a little too large of a humor bone, but recently I've noticed that this funny little bone of mine is my coping method for when things happen to me in life. When I have a "rough patch" like most people do, I've come to notice that I joke about it and laugh. "My dog died, lol." People are like... "Haha awe I'm sorry. Happen awhile ago?" "No, yesterday, lol." Although this is completely for example, I can really see myself reenacting the death of my dog. Inside I am torn about the death of my dog, and while I am laughing about it I am also about to cry, but oddly enough I cannot help myself from making jokes about it constantly.
I kind of hate this about myself in the sense that people will probably never take me seriously. But then again, what's wrong with that. If laughing is the best medicine then maybe it's better that I don't face the bad things that happen in my life seriously. At least not in front of people.
It's also odd how there are tiers of how bad the thing is in correlation to my joking about it.
Tier one, something I really don't care about and will crack a couple of humorous comments about, then forget and move on.
Tier two, something decently bad has happened in my life and I somewhat confront it seriously, but only to people I am very close with. Everyone else gets the stand up act.,
Tier three, the worse things. The things that make me cry myself to sleep. Everybody receives comedy hour on this one. People I'm close with, people I'm not, anyone and everyone gets my clown front. Why? Not sure. Maybe I'm more in denial about it than the lower tiers, and that would make sense.
But I'm in denial about it. So, I won't admit to that.
-A Poor, Heartbroken College Student
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
The College Personality
There is a specific type of person that most to all people like. At this point in my life, I am calling this person The College Personality. Essentially, this title entails the following two things: Friendly & Active.
Friendly. Not the average kind of "Hey, what's up" friendly. No, I'm talking the "Hey! What's your name? Want to go get something to eat? No? Maybe next time? Here is my number for whenever you're bored we can hang out. etc etc." That person that really can talk to anybody, anywhere, at any time. They aren't phased by the person seeming not interested, which is probably rare, and because of this people somewhat just instantly like them. Personally I want to punch people like this in the face, but I am trying to be open minded.
and
Active. That person that is not only is at the volleyball court, but wearing a sweatband and brought their own volleyball. Or maybe that person that will randomly host things in their lobby just because. Like, some kid invited me to a Kool-Aid drinking party? Which I was definitely going to until I heard people talking about how it was going to be spiked. And not with alcohol. So, that ruined any chance of fun.
Now, my own personal assessment about my "College Personality."
I'm not an outgoing, friendly type. I'm not a meanie-head either, but I really won't say more than hi in the elevator, if even that. It really works for me and against me all the same. I make very few friends, but when I do, at least I know we are actually decent little buds. I also have an... odd sense of humor. So I've been told, and down here all the bumpkins don't take to it well. It probably doesn't help that when people do say hi to me I probably seem really taken aback... like. "Oh hi?" I'm sure once or twice I've turned to look over my shoulder at the person I'm sure they're speaking to.
I'm sure for a lot of you this is odd reading because you either know me from jobs I'm had, or something. But I can assure you, when there is money involved... I am the nicest person ever. I was a waitress, of course I seemed like a sweetheart! Which I am, it just takes about 18 years for me to warm up to you. Want to test your luck?
As for the active... I am actually pretty good about this. I wander around campus. Go outside and play volleyball, watch tv in the lobby etc. The only thing is that if I'm watching TV and it's a show I really enjoy, I somewhat zone out and anyone else in the room I ignore. So, no chance for friends there. Volleyball wise, it starts out friendly competition, but then I get kind of crazy and need to win, breaking any friendships that may have been forming.
God, I'm hopeless.
-A Poor, Friendless, College Student
P.S. I apologize for how scatterbrained this post was. I was listening Mumford and Male Offspring and was kind of on a high.
Friendly. Not the average kind of "Hey, what's up" friendly. No, I'm talking the "Hey! What's your name? Want to go get something to eat? No? Maybe next time? Here is my number for whenever you're bored we can hang out. etc etc." That person that really can talk to anybody, anywhere, at any time. They aren't phased by the person seeming not interested, which is probably rare, and because of this people somewhat just instantly like them. Personally I want to punch people like this in the face, but I am trying to be open minded.
and
Active. That person that is not only is at the volleyball court, but wearing a sweatband and brought their own volleyball. Or maybe that person that will randomly host things in their lobby just because. Like, some kid invited me to a Kool-Aid drinking party? Which I was definitely going to until I heard people talking about how it was going to be spiked. And not with alcohol. So, that ruined any chance of fun.
Now, my own personal assessment about my "College Personality."
I'm not an outgoing, friendly type. I'm not a meanie-head either, but I really won't say more than hi in the elevator, if even that. It really works for me and against me all the same. I make very few friends, but when I do, at least I know we are actually decent little buds. I also have an... odd sense of humor. So I've been told, and down here all the bumpkins don't take to it well. It probably doesn't help that when people do say hi to me I probably seem really taken aback... like. "Oh hi?" I'm sure once or twice I've turned to look over my shoulder at the person I'm sure they're speaking to.
I'm sure for a lot of you this is odd reading because you either know me from jobs I'm had, or something. But I can assure you, when there is money involved... I am the nicest person ever. I was a waitress, of course I seemed like a sweetheart! Which I am, it just takes about 18 years for me to warm up to you. Want to test your luck?
As for the active... I am actually pretty good about this. I wander around campus. Go outside and play volleyball, watch tv in the lobby etc. The only thing is that if I'm watching TV and it's a show I really enjoy, I somewhat zone out and anyone else in the room I ignore. So, no chance for friends there. Volleyball wise, it starts out friendly competition, but then I get kind of crazy and need to win, breaking any friendships that may have been forming.
God, I'm hopeless.
-A Poor, Friendless, College Student
P.S. I apologize for how scatterbrained this post was. I was listening Mumford and Male Offspring and was kind of on a high.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday is my Fun Day
Basic things going through my mind today.
For a lack of all modesty, I'm not pregnant! Not that I truly believed I was pregnant, unless I had conceived the second baby Jesus (Hesus! I needed to clarify the pronunciation, for my own laugh), but my body was not doing what a healthy, non-prego body ought to be doing. If you're catching my drift. I suppose it was the stress of school starting and being friendless that may have led to the 3 week delay. As long as this bad boy doesn't last for two weeks straight, then I will be okay.
Okay, back to being modest and not making people uncomfortable.
I met a guy today who is dating a girl... with nearly the exact same name as him. Like, literally. His name is Cameron ******, and he is dating Cameron ******s? (I know the stars kind of ruin the effect, but I didn't want to release too much of their info, ya dig?) I tried to put myself in his shoes, but I feel I couldn't really relate... because if I met a guy named Apryl, I wouldn't be able to date him because I'm sure I wouldn't get along with his parents. I don't get along with stupid people. SO anyways, I gave Cameron the male the 3rd degree about his odd relationship. "Do you call her Cammy to make it less weird? Cam? Maybe a middle name?" I only hope I am able to find the answers to the questions that haunt me.
On a note that isn't me prying into others lifes and posting it online, I applied for a job at a clothing store called Maurices. Maurice isn't really a name that makes me want to buy clothes from them because I somewhat automatically associate Maurice with a black man. But I'm sure that's just me. Anyways, I applied there and hopefully I get the job because they said they would be flexible with my demanding schedule. Do I sound like a diva for asking for 6 weeks off work automatically? Like, oh my God, c'mon, is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad they were understanding.
Tha-tha-tha-thats all folks!
-A Poor College Student
For a lack of all modesty, I'm not pregnant! Not that I truly believed I was pregnant, unless I had conceived the second baby Jesus (Hesus! I needed to clarify the pronunciation, for my own laugh), but my body was not doing what a healthy, non-prego body ought to be doing. If you're catching my drift. I suppose it was the stress of school starting and being friendless that may have led to the 3 week delay. As long as this bad boy doesn't last for two weeks straight, then I will be okay.
Okay, back to being modest and not making people uncomfortable.
I met a guy today who is dating a girl... with nearly the exact same name as him. Like, literally. His name is Cameron ******, and he is dating Cameron ******s? (I know the stars kind of ruin the effect, but I didn't want to release too much of their info, ya dig?) I tried to put myself in his shoes, but I feel I couldn't really relate... because if I met a guy named Apryl, I wouldn't be able to date him because I'm sure I wouldn't get along with his parents. I don't get along with stupid people. SO anyways, I gave Cameron the male the 3rd degree about his odd relationship. "Do you call her Cammy to make it less weird? Cam? Maybe a middle name?" I only hope I am able to find the answers to the questions that haunt me.
On a note that isn't me prying into others lifes and posting it online, I applied for a job at a clothing store called Maurices. Maurice isn't really a name that makes me want to buy clothes from them because I somewhat automatically associate Maurice with a black man. But I'm sure that's just me. Anyways, I applied there and hopefully I get the job because they said they would be flexible with my demanding schedule. Do I sound like a diva for asking for 6 weeks off work automatically? Like, oh my God, c'mon, is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad they were understanding.
Tha-tha-tha-thats all folks!
-A Poor College Student
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Retrograde
I think I am doign the exact opposite of what is suppose to happen your freshman year in college. Freshman 15? Yeah, i may lose 15 lbs. On the beautiful campus of Angelo State University, they have a state of the art fitness center, completely free to all students and right in the middle of campus. So being friendless, I spend a lot of time there. Reading a book while biking, you know. Also, with this meal plan I get all three meals in... every day. I'm pretty sure before I had maybe one meal a day. If that. And the choices in this Cafe are pretty healthy. Fruit, juices, grilled veggies, sub sandwiches... etc. On top of all of that, I walk or ride my bike everywhere. Like PeeWee. Har Har. There are also free Fitness Classes. Like Zumba, yoga, and other aerobics. I may not try those until I have friends though, because they may work as a repellent. But overall... I am not too worried about gaining any sort of weight while in college. One thing to tick off my long list of worries.
-A Poor College Student
-A Poor College Student
Friday, August 26, 2011
A Job is a Job is a Job.... is a Job
Not having money and being poor and what not has led me to a small predicament. I obviously need to get a job to not only support my life style, but to continue living at all, while in college. I applied at the local YMCA here in San Angelo, went to my interview, and I'm pretty sure, landed the job. I am not suppose to find out for a couple more days though. Sounds like a great job, right? The YMCA, doing crafts and playing sports and getting paid for it. No nights or weekends, PERFECT. Well this, my friends, is equivalent to... I don't know, turkey bacon. Although I would get out of school on December 9th and not have to return until late January, that does not mean I would be going home to relax and enjoy my time off school. No, I would be hanging around good old San Angelo, to go to work for 4 hours a day until the kids got out of school December 19th. THEN I would have to return January 5th. My six week break of happiness just turned into a two week break of tears and depression. Plus, ironically enough, taking this job means I would be living on the streets on San An for 4 weeks! Where would I live while school was out? On the corner of Johnson and Avenue N, that's where. So, I think I will more seriously start taking on my little blog name.
-A Poor College Student
-A Poor College Student
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
My Schedule, updated and sure.
So, before I said I was unsure of my schedule but now I have my act together. Being the third day of school... I would hope so.
Yesterday I had a little schedule problem. My class was for 1pm. I arrived at the lecture hall at 12:50, swung the door open to find a hall of 100 students in the middle of class. To say this was embarrassing would be an understatement. I checked the class time on my phone Calendar, 1:30. Ah, so I walked in on the earlier class.... So I mosey around campus for a awhile waiting for my actual class to start. At 1:29 (I was not going to risk that other class running late and walking in on them again) I enter the lecture hall for a second time. There appears to be fewer students and they are all writing. I see papers at the front of the rooms and go to grab them hearing the professor say "You're just now getting here?" At this moment I did the typical blank stare. "Class starts at 1:30... correct?" "This class starts at 12:30. It is over in 15 minutes." I'm not sure if I have ever felt more stupid in my life. The whole red face, sweaty brow perfectly explains everything I was feeling at that moment. I was THAT kid. The one that stumbles in late, dazed and confused. Sigh. I'm sure the entire lecture hall was thinking.... she came in here once, why is she in here again?" Turns out what everyone was writing was a test we had to take and when they were done they were able to leave, which explains the fewer students than my first entrance. So I had to rush and take that test, which was stressful. It was just overall a poor experience.
The only positive thing that I think came out of this would be that I am in my professors memory. The class is so large, I'm sure he doesn't learn every student, well I got about 15 minutes after class to apologize and go over the lesson quickly. So if worse comes to worse... at least he will remember me as a student instead of a face in a crowd of 100.
Sigh, college.
-A Poor College Student.
Yesterday I had a little schedule problem. My class was for 1pm. I arrived at the lecture hall at 12:50, swung the door open to find a hall of 100 students in the middle of class. To say this was embarrassing would be an understatement. I checked the class time on my phone Calendar, 1:30. Ah, so I walked in on the earlier class.... So I mosey around campus for a awhile waiting for my actual class to start. At 1:29 (I was not going to risk that other class running late and walking in on them again) I enter the lecture hall for a second time. There appears to be fewer students and they are all writing. I see papers at the front of the rooms and go to grab them hearing the professor say "You're just now getting here?" At this moment I did the typical blank stare. "Class starts at 1:30... correct?" "This class starts at 12:30. It is over in 15 minutes." I'm not sure if I have ever felt more stupid in my life. The whole red face, sweaty brow perfectly explains everything I was feeling at that moment. I was THAT kid. The one that stumbles in late, dazed and confused. Sigh. I'm sure the entire lecture hall was thinking.... she came in here once, why is she in here again?" Turns out what everyone was writing was a test we had to take and when they were done they were able to leave, which explains the fewer students than my first entrance. So I had to rush and take that test, which was stressful. It was just overall a poor experience.
The only positive thing that I think came out of this would be that I am in my professors memory. The class is so large, I'm sure he doesn't learn every student, well I got about 15 minutes after class to apologize and go over the lesson quickly. So if worse comes to worse... at least he will remember me as a student instead of a face in a crowd of 100.
Sigh, college.
-A Poor College Student.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Crammed for time
I just got out of my first college course, Writing for Mass Media. It seemed like it wouldn't be too straining but informational. Unfortunately, it is a journalism course which isn't really in the direction I was heading with my current major. (Not to mention I already have plans to change my major) so I am trying to not focus on the fact I spent probably $200 on books for this course only. Sigh.
I would have blogged more my first weekend here in San Angelo, but I haven't because I have a journal now as well. Blame my Aunt B for my cyber absence.
A little about my schedule, it is set up in a very convenient and inconvenient way all the same. I have Writing for Mass Media at 9am. an Hour and 10 minute gap, then History at 11am. ANOTHER hour and ten minute gap, then a class that slips my mind at 1pm. This is the schedule for Mon, Wed, Fri. Tuesday and Thursday I have my first class at 11 and that's all I can remember for that day. I will update you more detailed on that later. The point is that I have these gaps that are just long enough I can't really linger on the class side of the campus and just short enough that it sucks to walk all the way back to my dorm. Sigh. I feel in the future these gaps will be good for doing homework in the library and what not, but as for now when there is no homework to be done... I get much exercise strolling up and down the campus 6 times a day.
Also, for aspiring or upcoming college students, I will address the bike situation. The bike, a handy method of transportation can be very useful. For instance when you have to rush to the library to print something out or rush to your campus job. But, class wise... the bike is evil. All the classes start around the same time, so the 20 minute gap before they start, the sidewalks are crammed with walkers. If you have a bike and are using it at this time... You will probably be rolling behind strolling pedestrians. So, my method will probably be for morning classes just walk. For evening work and lab... take bike. I assume the sidewalks will be cleared by then. Hopefully.
-A Poor College Student
I would have blogged more my first weekend here in San Angelo, but I haven't because I have a journal now as well. Blame my Aunt B for my cyber absence.
A little about my schedule, it is set up in a very convenient and inconvenient way all the same. I have Writing for Mass Media at 9am. an Hour and 10 minute gap, then History at 11am. ANOTHER hour and ten minute gap, then a class that slips my mind at 1pm. This is the schedule for Mon, Wed, Fri. Tuesday and Thursday I have my first class at 11 and that's all I can remember for that day. I will update you more detailed on that later. The point is that I have these gaps that are just long enough I can't really linger on the class side of the campus and just short enough that it sucks to walk all the way back to my dorm. Sigh. I feel in the future these gaps will be good for doing homework in the library and what not, but as for now when there is no homework to be done... I get much exercise strolling up and down the campus 6 times a day.
Also, for aspiring or upcoming college students, I will address the bike situation. The bike, a handy method of transportation can be very useful. For instance when you have to rush to the library to print something out or rush to your campus job. But, class wise... the bike is evil. All the classes start around the same time, so the 20 minute gap before they start, the sidewalks are crammed with walkers. If you have a bike and are using it at this time... You will probably be rolling behind strolling pedestrians. So, my method will probably be for morning classes just walk. For evening work and lab... take bike. I assume the sidewalks will be cleared by then. Hopefully.
-A Poor College Student
Monday, August 15, 2011
A Minor Major Attack
So recently I have been doing the cliche thing of contemplating galactic insignificance in the grand scheme of things (see how I incorporated a cliche, with the mention of cliche... har har) and have come to realize... why did I automatically rule out a career in medicine? Or law? Because of 4 more years of school? Ha! What will those four years really be in my life when I am 35? In the flow of this thought process I really talked myself into a new major almost. Of course I won't act on it immediately, but I really just decided that I would like to make a career. Not one of those careers that last 10 years then I move on to another. One of those careers where, when people ask me what I do I say "NFKSNKLFN". I know what I do. I went to school for 8 years to do this and guess what... I make a shit ton of money doing it to. So, take that life.
But who knows, maybe my major will ultimately never change. At least I felt powerful in this one moment.
But who knows, maybe my major will ultimately never change. At least I felt powerful in this one moment.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Laptops build unity
I never realized until I got a laptop how much time I really spent in the solitude of my own bedroom. Now that I have this mobile computer, I am out and about in the house showing pictures to my family, conversing while blogging, and just being together. I am kind of happy about this.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Things on my mind
2:24, splurge time.
I spend way too much money because I talk myself into needing it. I no longer "want" it, I need it. Today was actually an ironic situation that made me laugh after my purchase, inspiring me to mention it in my blog today. I bought a money tracker. It is a little pocket book with a pad of paper for me to keep track of my spending and it has little files for me to separate receipts and file money for different things in my life. I just found this particular situation very humorous.
I wish I could say my money splurges were small and rare, but I would be lying to you. Luckily, I have a work ethic that can support this lifestyle. Despite that though I still live a life of guilt and buyers remorse. When will I recover from my disease? Probably never. Oh well.
Next, I would like to touch on the topic that has been haunting my life for the past few weeks, well months actually.
Leaving home and venturing into the real world. I have slowly been gathering my things together in boxes, which due to a lack of anything better, are 24 packs of Miller Light. It'll do. I have always known I was not a hoarder, but now it is really just hitting me big. I don't feel remorse for throwing away my childhood memories, but I feel remorse for not feeling remorse. It's strange, I know. I wish I had more attachment to my things, but it is very easy for me to just throw stuff away. My sister and I are very different in this. She still has things from when we were infants.... I admit that there are things I hold on to. I have a box for those things, but mostly I chunk everything. In regards to the leaving, if any of you few souls that read this know a couple of things that you would recommend me getting for college that isn't that typical thing I will think of and get there and be like... Damn, I need this... Comment and let me know. BIG HELP.
Apryl Can Talk, what a true heading.
I spend way too much money because I talk myself into needing it. I no longer "want" it, I need it. Today was actually an ironic situation that made me laugh after my purchase, inspiring me to mention it in my blog today. I bought a money tracker. It is a little pocket book with a pad of paper for me to keep track of my spending and it has little files for me to separate receipts and file money for different things in my life. I just found this particular situation very humorous.
I wish I could say my money splurges were small and rare, but I would be lying to you. Luckily, I have a work ethic that can support this lifestyle. Despite that though I still live a life of guilt and buyers remorse. When will I recover from my disease? Probably never. Oh well.
Next, I would like to touch on the topic that has been haunting my life for the past few weeks, well months actually.
Leaving home and venturing into the real world. I have slowly been gathering my things together in boxes, which due to a lack of anything better, are 24 packs of Miller Light. It'll do. I have always known I was not a hoarder, but now it is really just hitting me big. I don't feel remorse for throwing away my childhood memories, but I feel remorse for not feeling remorse. It's strange, I know. I wish I had more attachment to my things, but it is very easy for me to just throw stuff away. My sister and I are very different in this. She still has things from when we were infants.... I admit that there are things I hold on to. I have a box for those things, but mostly I chunk everything. In regards to the leaving, if any of you few souls that read this know a couple of things that you would recommend me getting for college that isn't that typical thing I will think of and get there and be like... Damn, I need this... Comment and let me know. BIG HELP.
Apryl Can Talk, what a true heading.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Hammers, Drills, Nails, and other things
Are not being used quickly enough.
I have just recently been informed that my new life that is scheduled to start in 17 days is not going to play out as scheduled. For the past 5 months I have been set up to live in Plaza Verde dorms with Kinsey Coppedge on the second floor. Today, 2 and a half weeks before move in, I am told that those dorms are not completed yet. That I will actually been smashed into an old stinky dorm with two girls I don't know to make due and live. Well you know what I say? I say ef college. I am going to become a stripper.
If those dorms are not completed very soon, I will bring my own hammer and nails and get to work.
I have just recently been informed that my new life that is scheduled to start in 17 days is not going to play out as scheduled. For the past 5 months I have been set up to live in Plaza Verde dorms with Kinsey Coppedge on the second floor. Today, 2 and a half weeks before move in, I am told that those dorms are not completed yet. That I will actually been smashed into an old stinky dorm with two girls I don't know to make due and live. Well you know what I say? I say ef college. I am going to become a stripper.
If those dorms are not completed very soon, I will bring my own hammer and nails and get to work.
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