Mechanisms for the Blue

 I've always known that I've had a little too large of a humor bone, but recently I've noticed that this funny little bone of mine is my coping method for when things happen to me in life. When I have a "rough patch" like most people do, I've come to notice that I joke about it and laugh. "My dog died, lol." People are like... "Haha awe I'm sorry. Happen awhile ago?" "No, yesterday, lol." Although this is completely for example, I can really see myself reenacting the death of my dog. Inside I am torn about the death of my dog, and while I am laughing about it I am also about to cry, but oddly enough I cannot help myself from making jokes about it constantly.
I kind of hate this about myself in the sense that people will probably never take me seriously. But then again, what's wrong with that. If laughing is the best medicine then maybe it's better that I don't face the bad things that happen in my life seriously. At least not in front of people.

It's also odd how there are tiers of how bad the thing is in correlation to my joking about it.
Tier one, something I really don't care about and will crack a couple of humorous comments about, then forget and move on.
Tier two, something decently bad has happened in my life and I somewhat confront it seriously, but only to people I am very close with. Everyone else gets the stand up act.,
Tier three, the worse things. The things that make me cry myself to sleep. Everybody receives comedy hour on this one. People I'm close with, people I'm not, anyone and everyone gets my clown front. Why? Not sure. Maybe I'm more in denial about it than the lower tiers, and that would make sense.
But I'm in denial about it. So, I won't admit to that.

-A Poor, Heartbroken College Student